New Year's Eve

Hanging out with my friend, Shannon tonight and one of her friends. I haven't done anything for New Year's in two years so this will definitely be different. Today is also my granny's birthday. I miss her a lot. happy birthday, granny! Ready for the New Year and for a chance for a new beginning. I know lots of people say that but for me, it really is a new beginning. I am really going to start achieving all of the goals that I said I would achieve. I will move out of the house, get a teaching job, and hopefully just make all around better decisions in general. Can't wait for this new start in my life. Happy New Year!

Hmm

So, one of my friends posted a vague tweet about how he has a new chapter coming up in his life. I am wondering what it is. I am so nosy, it isn't even funny. It will be kind of sad if he moves away but hey, sometimes there are places we need to go to. Also, my ear has completely recovered. So happy right now! :)

Ear problem temporarily solved

So, Thursday I went to a concert for Here Come The Mummies. If you don't know who they are, I suggest you look them up! These people wrap themselves up as mummies and basically no one knows who these people are in the band. No one. Before I was able to go to this concert, I went to get my ear looked at. The person at the parlor popped my ear (painful) but the bubble is now gone. Well, most of it is gone. It is has been leaking stuff (I know, it is nasty) but my doc also said if my ear does that, to try to squeeze out that junk. Ew. I am hoping that my ear does NOT fall off. Lol.

Earrings and other things

So those of you that know me, know that I have 9 piercings. Recently I had gotten my conch pierced. It had formed a bubble that ended up having to be popped. Ouch. It was okay for a little bit but then it got a small bubble back again. Ashley told me of some kind of cream that actually helps with piercings but it is a prescription. Maybe if it gets bad enough, I can go and see if Dr. Graham will look at. It is a little sore but I am hoping that it won't get too sore later. If it does, I may have to give up the conch ring. It would sadden me some because I think it looks awesome but it is either give up my conch ring or hurt my ear. Today I am going to a new bakery. :) It has a lot of muffins, brownies, and cookies. Can't wait!

Poetry Night on Friday

So, there is this local coffee shop here close to where I live. They have Poetry Night every Friday from 8pm-10:30pm. I have been trying to get some friends to go with me so I am not the awkward person that is sitting alone. My friend, Sara told me that it isn't awkward unless you really think it is awkward. She also reassured me that I can bring my laptop and get there early for coffee. Granted, I won't stay until 10:30pm probably but this will be something I haven't done before and I need to do something to not be stressed.

Also, here's a post that isn't sad or angry

I feel as if all I post are angry or sad posts. I really am not an angry or sad person. So, I just wanted to post something that was a little less sad and angry. I get to see my friends the weekend after this one to celebrate my birthday. I think we are going to Fat Moe's to drink and just talk with each other. I miss a lot of my friends back in Murray. I can't wait to see them!

Hopefully things get easier

So, this whole getting over ex thing is harder than I expected it to be. It is almost stupid how hard it is. We only dated two weeks, that isn't a big deal. Plus, I think he is going after someone else....after he told me he just wanted to be single for a while. I think I am a little angry at him not only because I feel as if he couldn't tell me he wanted to see someone else, but because I basically told him I wanted to be his friend and he never responded to me....what? I mean, that is sort of stupid to me.

Happy birthday, grandma!

So the guy I was seeing broke up with me. He told me he wanted to remain single for now aka, he wants to see someone else. It is fine, I just sort of wished he would have told me he wasn't nuts about me in the beginning. I was hoping he and I could still be friends but I am not so sure that will be happening. It sort of stinks. Today is my grandma's 80th birthday! She totally doesn't look her age at all. Maybe this means I will age gracefully when I am older? (I hope.)

Starting Over

So I didn't realize how super nuts I was with talking about Tony or anyone else I was interested in seeing. I need to just seriously be patient and stop making stupid decisions. I need to start doing things for me and be happy. Not be selfish, there is a difference. But I need to actually see how certain things could benefit me. I have made some horrible mistakes and I think it is time to put them behind me and think of my future.I need to be able to tell myself all of my positives instead of seeing everything negative about myself. It will be super hard for me to do this but I think it may help me. I feel as if I only write on this when my life is nuts but this really helps me with issues I am having. Today, I am going to relax and workout. Today, I start having a positive attitude.

Awkward Moments

So I don't really have a lot of awkward moments to talk about but I did have a friend get super mad at me and accused me of not trusting him. He knows I have some issues I am working with. I can't talk to him about them because I am working through them on my own. He doesn't understand this. He got so mad at me that he stopped talking to me and hasn't even talked with me the entire day. Honestly, it is super stupid and he needs to really get over it. On another note, I am starting to train for a half marathon next week. I found a cool schedule to help me start doing it. It will be the first time I have ever ran 13 miles if I can pull it off by the end of the 12 weeks. Not too much has really happened, really. Oh, I have a Mud Run this Saturday! It will be super cool although I am sort of nervous about the obstacles.

Being nice

Update on a few things. Found out my friend, Nate isn't moving after all. He is about two hours away still but I am so glad he won't be super far. Recently, I have been super emotional and I really think it is because I have been thinking about stuff in my life. I look back at all of my bad decisions and even though I know that they weren't right, I know that I can always start over. I can't really go into detail about them but I have been struggling with some stuff. I haven't really any self worth in myself. It is sad but I have been trying to be positive. I also haven't been sleeping very much. I have only gotten three hours. I need to exercise/run today. Oh, one more thing, my sister and I had a vintage photo shoot! :) We finally got all of our pictures done! I need order them but  unfortunately, I can only really afford smaller prints. But needless to say our pictures turned out amazing! Here is a little sneak peak.

Ran and I 

Lots of sad stuff

So, I found out that my friend, Nate may be moving to Arizona. We hung out yesterday but we really didn't do anything but see The Purge. It was really stupid. I was kind of upset because he didn't talk a lot....I dunno if he was trying to not talk to me.  Tony has stopped poking me on Facebook. He randomly stopped when I spent the night with him last month... I hope I didn't upset him when I got off my period, maybe when he was sleeping with me he made me bleed on his sheets again. It is a stupid reason to be upset with me over that though. I texted him one day and basically told him I thought it was stupid that he was ignoring me. I also looked up on how much he has been creeping me on Facebook and it says he is still looking at my profile a little bit. So now I am confused again. Or maybe that list only shows how much I have interacted with someone? I don't know. I wish I could just forget

I don't know what is happening

So apparently, Tony blocked me on Facebook yesterday. I still have no clue why. I slept with him last month and tried to poke him again and he kept deleting them. I didn't do this but every few days. I mean, he wouldn't even wait that long to poke me on Facebook. I think I scared him. I don't really consider what I did as creepy or awkward. I just don't understand why he would block me. I was really mad about it but really, he is just a jerk. I don't think I will ever understand why he did that. I talked with Wes about it and he just told me that I didn't seem creepy. My other friend told me he just sounds like a dick. I wish I could tell him out of those times he was with me, I never did cum. His dick was probably too small. I wasn't mean when I texted him though. I told him that I hope he was successful in life and that I hope he was safe. That makes me seem silly but, oh well.

Hurting

So I found out the guy I was sleeping with and talking to doesn't want to hang out anymore because he is talking to someone. What pisses me off is that he didn't want to hang because we end up sleeping together which I understand if you are talking to someone else but darn. We finally agreed we could be friends and that it wouldn't be weird between us. I am about to be mean though. He will be sorry he messed with me.

Poop

So I know I have been acting kind of dumb. I am attracted to a guy that I am not sure is attracted to me. I am going to Murray tomorrow to visit Wesley and was going to see if I could see Tony but he seems like his semester is going to be nuts and I don't want to disturb him...I know I am being silly but I thought that if he wanted to talk to me, he would message me first. Well, it has been four days and will soon be five days. I don't think he misses me. Wesley said he told me I should message him if he thought it was the right thing to do but honestly, I don't know what to do. I just wish if he cared for me...he'd give me some kind of way of knowing. I'm such an idiot.