People Wonder Why I Am Single

I have bad luck when it comes to relationships. Usually what happens is we will talk for a little bit then they disappear or they lie to me. This was once again more bad luck. I started messaging someone a week ago and things were going actually pretty good. Look on my friend, April's Snapchat and realize they met and now may become a thing. FUCK MY LIFE. I confronted him and it was honestly not done behind my back. They ended up meeting on Saturday and apparently had a connection. When do I get a chance, ever? I give up. There is nothing out there for me. I always heard there were those kind of people but never thought I would be one. I know I am writing this out of pain but if I don't write, then I will find negative ways to let out my emotions. I am tired of being the "single" friend to everything. No one knows how to have conversation, treat a woman, or be themselves. I am through. So through.

Updates

So I haven't written in this in almost so I thought I would update some stuff about my life. I started a job at Audubon as a lead teacher teaching infant tow three year olds. It is definitely not what I want to stay with. I don't mind older ones since they are easier to take care of but babies and one year olds can be too much for me. Honestly, I feel sometimes I work my butt off and no one really is helping me. Today was definitely that sort of day. Certain things I ended up not doing or cleaning because I wanted someone else to do it after I had been putting beds out and changing diapers. Also, I have started to notice that I am not being asked certain questions even though I am lead teacher. I do not want to think my TAs can't teach or have input in the room but I am the teacher....Anyway, also had a few bad news things happen where my aunt is not doing well with her cancer and found out my mom's friend and my former guidance counselor in elementary has cancer as well. It has not bee na good two weeks.

Updates on Life

So apparently it has been over a year since writing in this thing. Well, I am still working at the daycare and am now the 3 to 5 year old teacher. It is going alright but I don't think this is my dream job and I actually question if teaching is really what I want to do for the rest of my life. I keep looking up different jobs but am unsure what to switch to. My sis really wants me to move to Maryland where she is but I am not so sure a city is right for me. I ended up looking at jobs around Maryland and even in Georgia because I always wanted to live in Savannah, which I know would definitely mean I need to take the Praxis exam again...which is expensive. It has been a crazy year and I am hoping things get better and I can figure out where I belong. I don't want to really live at home all of my life.

Waiting is always hard

The good news and update from my old post is that I ended up becoming the teacher at the preschool and was also promoted to Assistant Director. We got rid of the 1 year old teacher because she was causing issues between the workers and stole from dietary department. She should've been gone long ago but it is over now. Thought a guy I was texting was interested un me but the past few times we have messaged each other, I've always had to start the conversation. I'm sorry but don't waste time if you aren't gonna put effort in talking with me. I dunno. Been pretty blah recently. I've had to help my parents with expenses and at this rate, I won't have enough to save up for my own place. It has been sad. Sorry my posts have been depressing.

New Job Opportunity

Found out today that the teacher for preschool at the company I work for will be leaving next Tuesday. I am so happy! My boss told me that I would probably be taking over as a teacher. For those who don't know, I have been in sort of a weird depressing state in my life where I felt that teaching wasn't for me anymore. However, after finding out that my schedule would allow me to leave work early and give me an opportunity to see if teaching is for me or not, I decided to see how teaching turns out. In all honesty. actually teaching may not be for me anymore but daycare lessons are way different and easier than elementary lessons.

Getting Rid of Negativity

So, today I ended up deleting most of my co workers but 3 of them. Why? Because they're immature and want to try to cause problems between other workers. I'm done. I'm learning to get rid of people that cause issues. Once again I find myself wanting more out of my life. I have no idea what it is. I wish I had my own place and that I wasn't with my family. I am saving up as much as I can to move away. However, I need a job before I can even think of moving. Life I feel is sort of unfair. I see all these people moving on and doing stuff with their lives and I feel that it is never going to happen for me. I get bored just working and not going to new places. Once again, I need money for that as well. Sorry that this is so negative. I just get upset.

Spring :)

So glad it is finally spring time. I was able to pull off a four day weekend so ended up not working today. So glad I got to have a break from work too. Got some better news from my sister who has been having issues. She and her husband were forced to give up their house but are gonna move in with his relatives. She may be moving back to Kentucky with him. I am hoping that is what happens. It is financially difficult to get up to Maryland to visit. I have been feeling kind of bad lately. I feel that I dunno where my life is going right now. I am not happy living at home. I know right now I financially can't afford my own place. I know a lot of people think I am being a bum and just not moving to live off my parents. It'd be awesome having my own place again. However, the only thing around here are crazy small apartments that are overpriced. Anyway, something nice to talk about, I am so ready for summer. Can't wait to spend more time outside.